Modern advances in animation and film can make nearly anything look real. The special effects in most action movies make it look like Iron Man can fly and James Bond has nine lives. But the greatest special effect of all is found in pornography. Whether in magazines, the Internet or movies, pornography looks real. The people are real. But its not reality--even if they think it is.
A great illustration of this sexual reality-bending is found in the surprisingly charming movie Lars and the Real Girl. Too anxious to get close to a real girl, Lars orders a life-size doll off the Internet. These dolls look real. They're made from silicone and are anatomically correct. And they are always safe. Dolls never frustrate, avoid or break up with their owner. They never disagree or argue. And these dolls are always ready for love-making.
The same is true for pornography. The models in pornography have the irresistible combination of being both attractive and safe. With over 400 million pages of pornography on the Internet today, these images are irresistible to millions of men (and boys too--the largest group that views Internet pornography are boys ages 12-17). I've heard some single men say they actually prefer pornography over dating real women.
In reality, pornography makes men cowards. As psychoanalyst Alan Karbelnig points out, "Pornography basically serves as a form of defense against humiliation, rejection, abandonment, and other varieties of human vulnerability. Focusing on the "sexual act," this time observed via the Internet, prevents the viewer from direct exposure to an actual encounter in which they could be wounded in any number of ways." In other words, it's always "safe." Dangerously safe.
It's time for men to get real. Reality must become more irresistible than fantasy. Single guys have to face the anxieties of asking a woman on a date or face the greater danger of staying alone forever. Married guys must face the reality that their wives may not always be "in the mood" when they are. A real woman means times of disappointments and compromises in life--including in the bedroom. But the life and love you share together is more than worth the price.
A life lived in fantasy turns men into boys. Real men prefer reality--for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. A real man faces his bride on his wedding day and takes a vow for reality. He chooses reality over fantasy, sacrifice over selfishness, and commitment over fear.
There is a good reason that Playboy magazine is not called Playmen or Playhusbands. Men don't play with women and a husband would die for his wife if necessary. Play boys do neither. To men who wish for a lifetime of love with their wives, the answer is simple and yet requires everything from you. Choose reality over fantasy. Keep it real!
Comments
Post a Comment